Saturday: Got some cash. Bought train tickets. Booked a hotel. Called the relations in Hangzhou to let them know we were coming. Pack. Checked in several times with Sun-Ling's Mother and Grandmother.
Sunday: On a very rainy day, we rode the metro 2 stops to the brand new Shanghai South Railway station, caught the 11:35 train which arrived on time in Hangzhou about 1:25. A short taxi ride to the SSAW hotel, a new "contemporary" hotel. The rooms look the inside if an IKEA.
From the hotel it was a short,5 minute to walk to the family apartment, which was easily identified by the display of funeral wreaths outside. We were warmly welcomed by Sun-Ling's relatives and paid our respects by lighting incense and bowing three times to the funeral shrine. After 30 minutes we walked to the corner florist to order 2 funeral wreaths, one from Sun-Ling's grandmother, and one from Sun-Ling's parents and siblings.
We returned to the apartment and visited for a few hours before going out to dinner. During diner, one of the aunts stayed back at the apartment to keep vigil at the shrine. Keeping the shrine company before the funeral forms a big part of the local funeral ritual.
Great Uncle Shen was 80 when he died after a short illness. Considering that he lived a long life and did not suffer much, there was not much sadness among the immediate family. Great Aunt has many family members in Hangzhou as she is the oldest of 9 children. We met most of them. She will be OK.
After dinner, we went back to the apartment for a few minutes. More family had gathered there to maintain the vigil. Then we left and walked for about 15 minutes to the West Lake waterfront where we enjoyed the comfortable evening. Yes, comfortable. Hangzhou can be a furnace in the summer but the earlier rain had made the evening comfortable. We strolled a bit in the new XiHu TianDi, had a cold drink, and hit the sack about 10:30 PM.
Monday: Slept in. Showed up at the apartment about 10:30 AM. Pinned on our black mourning cloth. Ours had an additional red patch since we are the 3rd generation. Went out to lunch with the family. About 12:30 PM we headed to the "funeral home". Here's how that worked. First, a funeral procession from the apartment to a hired bus that would take us to the funeral home. Leading the way was the grandson carrying a photo of Great Uncle draped in black. Next to him was the grand-daughter holding an open black umbrella over the photo. The rest of us followed behind except for the sons and a few others who went ahead to transport the funeral wreaths.
The funeral home is about a 20 minute bus ride north. After arrival, we "process" in the same manner to the #2 room at the funeral home and wait. They are not ready for us. It's a big funeral home. It can do maybe 10 funerals at a time. There's a "showroom", gardens and crematory. Many services are provided. Each has a price. You can hire a brass band, firecrackers, photographer, videographer, or a military-style honor guard.
After about 30 minutes we take the funeral wreaths inside and arrange them along the walls and in front of a screen on which hangs Great Uncle's photo draped in black. Above the photo, his name is displayed in big, digital, Chinese characters. Behind the screen, they wheeled in the body in a glass-covered casket, as a three piece brass band plays some somber music. Family members are called behind the screen to make sure it is the right body.
Once all is arranged the funeral starts. We stand in rows in front of the screen. Sun-Ling and I rate in the 2nd row. First, short speeches by 2 people from Great Uncle's former work unit. Then a speech by the younger son thanking people for coming. Then we all bow 3 times in unison. Then we walk around to the back of the screen to pay final respects, again bowing 3 times in front of the casket.
That's it for the ceremony. Then I help carry the wreaths to a giant oven to be burned. Some family members walk with the casket back to the crematory. We all wait for about 30 minutes. Then some of us walk back to the crematory to fetch the ashes which have been placed in wooden box (urn). We form another procession to carry the ashes to mausoleum for safe keeping. Later this year,"when the ground is frozen," the ashes will be put in the tomb which is at some other location. The grandson leads the way, still carrying the photo. The black umbrella is now held over the oldest son who carries the ashes. A band plays somber music and fireworks are booming as we walk to the mausoleum.
Then we all get on the bus and ride back to the apartment. Two remaining rituals. First, upon arriving at the apartment, a ladder has been set up downstairs. On it are pasted 5 red squares of papers, each having a Chinese charter for one of the 5 elements: earth, fire, water, wood, and gold. The character for fire is upside down. Two small bundles of straw are placed about 10 feet away and set on fire. The sons then jump over the fire, and climb up the ladder, punching out the red paper with the characters. Then they go over to a basin of water filled with chopsticks, roll the chopstick between their hands making a loud clacking noise (to scare away evil spirits), dry their hands, and pick out a piece of candy from a bowl next to the basin. Finally, we all step over the fire, roll the chopsticks, and get candy.
Second, we all head to a local restaurant for the traditional post funeral banquet. Sun-Ling and I could not stay to the end and left after one hour to catch the 6:55 train to Shanghai.
Our room at the SSAW (Seasons) Hotel in Hangzhou. Yes, the bathroom walls are glass. ;-)
View of West Lake at night.
Wreaths outside the apartment.
Vigil by the shrine with the widow and #2 son. Note the fresh fruit and joss sticks on the table. At least 3 joss sticks are kept burning all day and night.
John's mourning cloth on his shoulder.
Funeral procession from apartment to bus.
The funeral home complex.
Waiting.
Arranging the wreaths in room #2.
After the funeral, the wreaths are burned in this giant oven on the grounds.
Waiting at the funeral home.
Taking the ashes from the crematory to the mausoleum.
Storing the ashes.
The ladder with characters of the 5 elements. Notice the funeral wreath in the background. It's for a neighbor that recently passed.
Jumping over the fire.
Punching out the characters.
Rolling the chopsticks to scare away evil spirits.
While waiting for the funeral dinner, I took this shot of the wait staff receiving final instructions for the dinner shift.
